the dark side

Bismillah ar Rahman ar Raheem

If you are adivising someone, and you insist on seeing your advice taken, you are doing wrong since you could be mistaken and you would be insisting on him accepting you error and rejecting the truth.

-Ibn Hazm

Just posted this on FB, and it really is a reminder to me. 
Referring to previous post, I'm really really scared of myself lately, with the recent changes I'm seeing in me. 
I believe it is good to be firm with what I think, but I'm afraid that I'll always believe that what I'm thinking is right, and worse, imposing that belief to others without really knowing if that is right or wrong. 
It's a balance that I need to keep, not to fall over to the dark side. 
Something that's bugging me, but alhamdulillah, Allah made me aware of such disease of the heart, 
so I hope I'll grow mature out of this trial of mine. 

Correct me if I'm wrong, please. I need to have someone to pull me back down to earth when I'm really full of myself, probably with air, like a tin can, that I'll float aimlessly. Someone, anyone... 

Ugly

Bismillah ar Rahman ar Raheem

Today I can't help but feel that the world is really ugly. I can't see why people find it so fulfilling and beautiful. It's just a mask concealing such a hideous face of humanity.
We've been discussing about HIV and prostitutions and hard-to-reach group for medical interventions and what triggered my thoughts was when my lecturer said that prostitutions exists since day one the world existed and we can't do anything to stop it, we can't ban it, so what we should do is to control it.

I can't imagine how those prostitutes feel after they had their job done. Do they really enjoy it?
Well, some are forced to do it, through poverty and exploitation, and that's a problem we need to actively try to solve. But those who are doing it out of pleasure, I wonder if pleasure is what they actually get. Physically, yes, we do need it but the deeper meaning of pleasure is not physical. Deep inside, pretty sure they'll feel empty and alone and there is no sense of satisfaction at all. All for the short term pleasure of others, perhaps, which poses a lot bigger problem.

I simply can't see why she said that. Yes, a she. How can a woman agree that prostitution is acceptable and not worth fighting against? I see no position for prostitution in any country around the world. It resulted from a problem, which escalates pretty quickly to a bigger problem. Our society, global society, really, is very very sick.

Prostitution, doesn't just affect teenagers and young girls. Getting married early is not exactly the solution anyway to combat such things. And it can also pose a great threat to marriages. A spouse might not be satisfied with his/her partner hence, they'll look for it elsewhere since it is available, legal or not legal, be it through prostitution, or from whoever they got to know with. The bigger problem, fall of the marriage institution. The instability of such thing robs the stability of the society, and in the end, it made the problem even worse.

The solution that kept on being proposed in the seminar, sex education. Really, I'm not against this. I'm actually for it. But I don't agree with the statement that my friend voiced out, and agreed by the lecturer. School is the best place for such education. No it's not. It's back to the family institution! Who else could be a better guider, a better teacher than the mother to her daughter, and the father to the son? Why couldn't the children consult their parents about sexual issues, social issues or if there's any problem "down there"? Why can't they?

Well, I believe children don't feel welcomed to do so. Parents can appear unwilling, or rather, they don't even have time for their children. Perhaps not even proper family bond is present. Or perhaps, even worse, the parents are the one who's abusing the children, be it sexually or any other way, which escalates the problem even further. Some parents simply are not comfortable, or don't know how, which is really understandable, and really, what it takes is the right mindset for the parents, and proper education.

It's really sick and ugly, isn't it? People are just too greedy for fame and fortune that they neglect their children. People are too greedy for pleasure that they can't let go of it totally, e.g. prostitutions, smoking etc etc. even when they can see it's a problem. Probably most are unable to comprehend why such issues are big problems, or perhaps they can't see how it affected their own lives. Or perhaps, it's the diffusion of responsibiliy theory. You saw the problem, everyone saw it, but nobody gives a damn to do something cuz well, somebody else should/could/would have done it, aye?

I do agree that sex education is important, but the overall education, the holistic tarbiyyah is much much more important. Morale, akhlaq, worldview.. these are really important aspects that we need to think about in nurturing the future kids. We are not just responsible for our lives, and also not just for our immediate children's lives, but we must believe that we do hold such great potentials in changing how the world is in perhaps 20 to 40 years ahead, probably even 100 years ahead of us. It's what we do today that matters. We are not insignificant to others. Believe in that.

We are not ugly.




Warm regards,

speech

Bismillah ar Rahman ar Raheem

Ramadhan baru-baru ni, alhamdulillah ada improvement dalam tilawah.
Ramadhan sebelumnya sekadar dapat habiskan satu Quran, tapi kali ni alhamdulillah berjaya habiskan beserta dengan baca terjemahan. Based on that, macam dapat overall picture of apa isi Quran sebenarnya.

And one peculiar thing that I noticed adalah, sangat sangat sangat banyak kali diulang kisah Nabi Musa dan Firaun in various parts of the Quran. Ada yang lain sikit gaya cerita, but each bearing reminder yang berbeza or reinforcing the story itself.

Satu benda buat ku tertanya-tanya setelah cerita tu diulang-ulang.
Nabi Musa minta Allah untuk utus bersama baginda Nabi Harun, sebab baginda mengaku lidahnya tak fasih berhujah. The question is, throughout the Quran, sangat jarang dengan dialog Nabi Harun. Kebanyakannya adalah Nabi Musa yang berhujah dengan Firaun.

"Dan saudaraku Harun, dia lebih fasih lidahnya daripadaku, maka utuslah dia bersama-samaku sebagai penyokong yang mengakui kebenaranku; sesungguhnya aku bimbang bahawa mereka akan mendustakan daku."

Al Qasas 28:34

The significance of the ayat to me is that, aku selalu rasa aku tak fasih bercakap. Selalu rasa frust bila tak dapat nak convey apa sebenarnya yang aku nak cakap. People often got confused, or got bored sebab tak faham-faham aku nak cakap apa sebenarnya. Asyik pusing-pusing point yang sama. Selalu frust and disheartened untuk bawak usrah especially. Selalu rasa nak menyorok dan biar orang lain bercakap. Biar orang lain yang lead dan aku mencelah bila rasa mampu.

Tadabbur ku dari ayat tu, ialah, sekalipun tak reti, Allah akan tolong insyaaAllah. Boleh jadi Allah bagi teman yang akan tolong, tapi macam mana pun, aku sendiri yang kena cakap dan convey the message. Kena cuba. Kena latih untuk bercakap. Dan alhamdulillah, aku sedang berubah sedikit demi sedikit. Cantik sangat do'a Nabi Musa untuk mintak Allah lancarkan lisan dia.

Maka, tak ada alasan untuk tidak bercakap. Harus minta pada Allah segala penyelesaian, tapi sendiri jangan lupa untuk act it out. Penyelesaian tak datang bergolek. Harus berusaha!



being me,

ego?

Bismillah ar Rahman ar Raheem

Lately ni aku rasa macam mudah annoyed dengan orang.
Buat aku terasa aku ego, bila rasa annoyed benda tak berlaku seperti yang aku faham.
As if aku je yang betul.
Especially dalam kelas.
Annoyed dengan orang-orang yang aku pasti dorang tahu jawapan tapi bila lecturer tanya semua membatu.
Aku dulu macam tu, tapi sejak 3rd year, aku dah berubah dan main jawab tak kira betul atau tak, as long as aku ada basis or reasoning for that answer la. Aku main jawab so that kalau salah, aku tahu mana patut aku betulkan. And aku tak jawab, kalau aku betul-betul blur, which is the case bila 4th year ni. huhu.

Satu perubahan yang ku tak sure satu benda yang bagus atau tak.
Sebelum ni I was really timid. Senyap dan tak bersuara sangat.
Now, in a way, satu benda bagus sebab aku terasa makin firm dengan apa yang aku fikir, rather than macam lalang and indecisive macam dulu. Sekarang pun dalam proses nak kurangkan penggunaan "kot", "macam", "like", "kinda" dan frasa-frasa yang seumpamanya, sebab membuatkan ayat-ayatku berbunyi tak yakin dan tak firm. Thanks to my beloved wife yang kerap tegur whenever I do that. Alhamdulillah. A positive change, I believe, sebab macam mana nak lead family kalau sendiri tak firm dalam keputusan. But yeah, masih belum cukup matang dalam benda ni. Aku terlebih technical, most of the time, without really thinking pasal benda lain. I'll get there insyaaAllah, ayte?

Dan sekarang rasa makin berani voice out apa yang aku fikir, so that orang tahu apa aku fikir, dan mengharapkan orang pun akan convey apa mereka rasa, supaya sama-sama boleh belajar. Mungkin ini hikmah Allah hidangkan aku dengan ujian berat some time ago. Mengajar untuk aku open up dan voice out apa aku rasa, dengan yakin dan hujah yang cukup kuat.

Drawback yang ku rasa sekarang, since now kalau voice out something, ku ada reasoning sendiri kenapa ku fikir macam tu, sampaikan terasa macam apa yang ku fikirkan tu adalah betul, sampai terasa macam mempertikaikan pandangan orang lain. Mungkin juga sebab pandangan aku kadang-kadang diterima.
Atau mungkin orang lain jadi timid, so tak voice out apa mereka rasa maka terima je. Atau mungkin gaya aku cakap as if dari awal tak nak terima so orang menyampah nak counter dan terima je?
Paling aku tak nak adalah the latter. Paling tak nak cara aku cakap jadi punca orang tak nak voice out, sebab the reason aku voice out pun adalah untuk dengar pandangan orang lain. Sangat-sangat harap that's not the case.

Perhaps it's my ego? Am I developing my ego..?


being me,

First World Problem

Dinner malam tadi with a friend, and well, I just can't help feeling annoyed when he didn't finish his veggies.
His reasoning, makcik tu kasi aku lauk yang tak fresh. Kasi yang dah siap masak awal-awal, tak panas, tak fresh. Ayam habis je? And end up him being annoyed with me nagging.

Kawan-kawan yang biasa makan dengan aku, harap maaf but yeah, I nag when it comes to this. Totally a 1st world problem. Somewhere around the globe, people would kill for food mates, and we're wasting them just because we don't feel like eating, it's not made to our liking, it's not fresh etc etc. Bukan salah sayur tu dia dimasak tak sedap/tak fresh etc dan kita terus nak campak masuk dalam tong sampah. Such a waste of rezeki. Ada hadith saying, habiskan every single bits in our plate cuz we don't know what bit will have barakah in it.

Few weeks back, I was being introduced to a bunch of memes which I was not really familiar with. Jarang go on 9GAG so tak tau sangat unless mana-mana yang appear kat wall orang post.
This particular one, I find quite interesting. The skeptical 3rd world child/kid.
Some are quite hilarious, but after some time reading the various posts people put up, it became apparent to me that it's really a funny, yet a sad joke. A sad joke on us, so called self-acclaimed 1st world people. Ada beberapa yang point out betapa pelik and bodoh actions yang 1st world people buat, and I kinda agree with it.

Sad, isn't it?

Flu

Bismillah ar Rahman ar Rahim

These recent days I've been tested with one of the ni'mah that is often being neglected, that is the ni'mah of health.

Think it's probably when I was riding my bike with my wife and it suddenly rained, when I catch the flu. It has been a real long time that I haven't suffered any illness (unless you count in my MVAs), so catching a flu is quite significant to me.

Had headaches, runny nose, and sore throat. A simple URTI, really but I was really getting bugged by it so I decided to go on and self medicated with some suggestions from my lecturer. Lo and behold, even before I started taking the medication, I felt better the next day!

The lesson that I've got from that is pretty simple, but left quite a profound effect on me. Medications is always an asbab, and never a cure to any disease. Allah is always and eternally the Healer of all diseases. Such thing is often simple to say, but pretty hard to feel or appreciate.

Alhamdulillah for the good health Allah has given us, allowing us to do lots of things that we often neglect when we are healthy and able. Take home message, don't delay, cuz you might not have the energy or free time to do the important things you needed to do.

On Olympics, Illuminati and Ramadhan

Bismillah ar Rahman ar Raheem

What we're taught when appraising a medical paper, (and I believe this applies to any paper as well in its own context), one very crucial question to ask which makes all the differences is "So what?" or in a more formal note, "Is it clinically important?"

Reading a Facebook status of a friend regarding the Olympics and the Illuminati conspiracy, brings a different perspective in viewing things.

***

"Inspired by an anyonymous relative:
Banyaknya post berkenaan konspirasi Olympic. Hebat betul imaginasi umat Islam sekarang. Pasal pokoklah, baby dan byk benda yang mengarut serta tidak bersandarkan fakta. Benda baik pasal Olympic yg merupakan fakta tak nak sebut seperta IERA organisation yg menggunakan peluang utk berdakwah tentang Islam kpd Non-Muslim, bagaimana pihak penganjuran menyediakan sahur dan iftar utk umat Islam yang berpuasa, dan paling gah sekali, mereka sebut tentang bulan Ramadhan. Korg tak rasa izzah ke apabila org bukan Islam sebut pasal Ramadhan dan atlet kita bermain waktu puasa demi menunjukkan terernya umat Islam dalam bidang sukan (yg shariah compliant)? 
Cuba fikir betapa gahnya, org bukan Islam sorak dan bincang sesama diorg benda mcm, "Hey John, look at them Muslims. Mighty strong people going to fight our boys with empty stomach" "Yeah, Rob. That sounds like they got guts"
Hai, kawan2. Daripada korg share gambar illuminati, lebih korg share gambar yg menguntungkan Islam seperti gambar umat Islam bagi leaflet psl Islam luar stadium, psl atlet Islam berhijab, psl atlet Islam berdoa atau pasal atlet Islam buka puasa. Mana tahu org bukan Islam atau org yg kurang Islam akan dpt hidayah apabila melihat gambar positif yg korg share. 
Klu korg share post illuminati/freemason/Yahudi ni, lglah merugikan Islam sebab korg tunjukkan betapa ceteknya pemikiran org Islam. Entah2, itu mungkin agenda illuminati sebenar - to make you guys to share riddiculus post to make Islam looks as stupid as possible. Inception?!
Astaghfirullahal azim. Wallahu a'lam."

***

We are so easily bugged by such conspiracies and we are so ready to hit the Share button and add more fuel to the flame. But how about we take a second and think, and ask ourselves, "So what?"

Why should we bother about the Illuminati and stuff? 

To raise the awareness, people might say... 

And so what?

Well, to prepare ourselves and so we can defend our precious ones from being influenced by those sly bad bad BAD guys. 

And so, what do you do to "defend" ourselves?

Err...

Ok. So what? 

You know those 5Fs or 5Ss or whatever people say are the strategies made by them evil people to mislead us? I believe many have come across it and I believe many are keen to share it and probably have shared it whenever they come across those acronyms. I don't remember all the individual Fs or Ss, but I remember them being Fashion, Fun, Football, and et cetera. Oh well, probably we can add Facebook in it too. It's a double-edged dagger, really. You can kill, or be killed. You can use it, or be used. You choose. 

But anyway, I think a lot of us know about it but what do we do? I don't have any issues with football, honestly. Oh well, I know I don't play much football. I don't have passion about it. I don't support any team. I don't watch them. You mention a name, chances are I don't even know who that is, let alone to know which team he's playing. I often got asked playfully, "IC tulis jantina apa?" translated as "Are you a man or what?"

Man are defined with football. You don't watch football, you're not a man. Again, I have no issues with football. It's a great sport, it brings people together, man and woman alike, but I wonder why do people went head over heels for it more than they fell in love with the Prophet's Sunnah. 

It makes me wonder how come some people are able to wake up at 3 am to watch football, but hardly for qiam. Some offer salah since they've woken up that early before the match, but just a thing to reflect, what is it that woke them up? The match or the sheer desire to make qiam? I'm saying this not because I make qiam every night (I find it extremely hard myself, honestly) but just a note to reflect ourselves on, how much do we prepare for those insults and fitnahs that we already knew are their strategies to divert us from the straight path? We've known their strategies, but what do we do, individually and collectively, to counter those attacks? 

It's like, you are spying on the enemy and seeing what they are doing but you go back, doing nothing. 

"Oh look! They're loading their machine guns!"

"They've got new high-tech tanks" 

"Oooohhh.. new unmanned drones!"

"Gosh, deadlier chemical bombs~!"

But hey, where's YOUR ammunition? 

Oh we can easily chuck out some nice weaponry and build new tanks and bombs and stuffs and blast them off in a few shots and they'll be gone from this world. Easy peasy. 

Or is it? 

Those are not our ammunition. Our real stuff is our iman. Fortify your iman, and come what may, you'll be ready, head on and no regrets nor hesitation, and you'll be "bullet-proof" from their assaults. Be it real solid red hot bullet or those sly silent attacks on our iman.

Well hey it's Ramadhan, and it's our chance to boost up our iman! It's a month of barakah, and little deeds can make a lot of difference, man. Take heed of the Prophet's sunnah, no matter how small, or presumably small, and get the best of it. Eat simple. Waste not. Read the Quran. Try to wake up for qiam. Give sadaqah, even just a smile when you're out buying food at the bazaar. Don't feed your nafs too much, shaytan is not here to tempt you. Tame it while you can, as you've got full power over it in this holy month. If it's more powerful than you in this month, then just wonder what it can do to you with the help of shaytan when you're out of Ramadhan. 

Ihya' Ramadhan, mates! 

This is me, reminding me in case I forgot. 

Bersih

I'm getting really tired reading stories about Bersih 3.0. Satu pihak claim macam ni, lagi satu claim the opposite pulak. Letih nak tahu mana yang betul.

Aku bukan pembangkang, dan juga aku tak setuju pun dengan banyak benda kerajaan buat. Yang aku tahu, aku nak Islam balik to govern us. Mana yang Islamic aku terima, mana yang hedonistic, materialistic, capitalism dan apa jua nama-nama selain Islam, aku tak nak. Aku tak cukup ilmu sangat nak berhujah especially kalau pasal ekonomi dan undang-undang, tapi slow-slow mencari mana yang termampu.

The caption: 

KITA BERADA DIZAMAN DARURAT KA !! TUNJUK KENYATAAN MANA YANG BOLEH KITA KAITKAN DENGAN ISU INI !!! BERSOLAT TANPA MENGAMBIL WUDHU , MEMAKAI TOPI , BERSEMBAHYANG DI DEPAN CINA TANPA ADA PENGHADANG, MEMAKAI KASUT..... ADAKAH INI AJARAN PAS !!!... PAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTT !!!!!!

 

Yang agak latest keluar adalah gambar ni yang disertakan dengan caption yang teruk dan komen-komen seterusnya pun sangatlah tak matang.

Isunya:

1. Solat pakai kasut.

2. Solat tak wudhu'.
3. Solat depan chinese sorang tu yang duk amik gambar.

Aku letih dengan yang satu kutuk yang lain. Dan apa yang aku nampak, sesetengah golongan tu nampak, kalau kuat agama maka itu pembangkang. In a way membuatkan orang menjauhi agama sebab macam kena associate dengan pembangkang, walaupun berjuang atas nama keadilan, atas nama Islam yang sebenar.

Pembangkang dah famous dengan guna hujah-hujah agama untuk backup claim dorang, soal kafir mengkafir la etc etc. Aku tak nak generalize sebab aku tahu tak semua macam tu, tapi pada pandangan masyarakat, itulah "hakikat". Dan bila keluar gambar-gambar macam ni, keadaan jadi lagi teruk kalau orang pro pembangkang back up balik dengan bahasa yang tak kurang biadapnya, biarpun dengan hujah yang sahih. Membuatkan orang jadi menilai penyampai dan bukan mesej yang cuba disampaikan.

Andai kiranya aku katakan solat pakai kasut itu boleh malah sunnah Rasulullah, agak-agak aku kena label as pembangkang tak? Agak-agak orang akan terima tak fakta ni walaupun sungguh "unorthodox" dalam "Islam Melayu" kat Malaysia? Soal wudhu', aku tak berada di tempat kejadian, so aku tak tahu, tapi boleh jadi dorang ambil wudhu' dengan air botol. Salah ke? Solat depan chinese tu.. Tak faham kenapa isu besar. Aku solat depan berpuluh mat salleh lalu lalang depan aku, so what?

Link: penjelasan tentang solat dengan berkasut.

Alhamdulillah, aku dapat belajar kat UK dua tahun. Cukup kiranya untuk aku kenal Islam yang sebenar, Islam yang syumul. Kenal dengan melihat sendiri pengamalannya dalam macam-macam jenis masyarakat Islam dan dari situ mencari dan menilai. Aku sendiri solat dengan berkasut, di tepi highway, di tepi pantai, atas rumput atas tanah dalam air. Alhamdulillah atas tarbiyyah dari Allah. Alhamdulillah aku tak hanya tersekat dalam dunia "Islam Melayu". Dan pada masa yang sama, sangat sedih dengan keadaan mentaliti masyarakat Islam Malaysia, melayu terutama.

Katakan apa saja, kalau orang dah mula label, susah nak convince orang. Tak kira la label as pro kerajaan ke, pro pembangkang ke, aktivist yada yada. Orang akan menilai kita pada label yang dorang lekat atas dahi kita.

So how? Terfikirkan satu ibrah dari sirah Rasulullah. Allah pelihara dan mantapkan akhlaq Rasulullah dari kecik, even before ada label as Rasul. Dari awal orang dah kenal sebagai Al Amin, seorang yang amanah. Akhlaq terpancar dari awal. Biar dah diangkat sebagai Rasul sekalipun, tak ada sapa dapat sangkal bahawa Rasulullah masih al Amin.

Kita, walau macam mana orang dah label sekalipun, kita buktikan, pada akhlaq dan perlakuan kita, kita bukan macam orang lain. Kita nak Islam, kita nak label Muslim sejati, then act as one. Bukan setakat pada ibadah khusus, tapi pada ibadah umum, hidup kita sendiri. Dengan berurusan dengan orang, dengan bahasa lembut untuk sampaikan apa-apa. Kalau dapat berita kita periksa, macam anjuran dalam surah Al Hujurat. Bukan straight on terus judge orang.

Aku belum perfect as Muslim, and will never be, sebab aku manusia. Tak lari dari buat dosa dan buat silap, pada diri dan orang lain. Tapi aku nak ajak semua orang berusaha untuk balik kepada akhlaq Islamiyyah. Rasulullah setelah dapat "jawatan" as Rasulullah, membuktikan itu label sepatutnya bagi baginda. Tak kira orang kata apa. Gila, penyihir etc etc. Sebab baginda tahu itu betul.

Anda pembangkang? Anda pro kerajaan? Itu tolak tepi dulu, sebab anda Muslim terlebih dulu (untuk Muslim lah kan). So prove you're a Muslim first.

Sebelum cakap orang lain kafir etc etc, cermin diri, how Islamic are you?  Tepuk dada tanya iman. Dan hasil tepukan aku, aku tahu iman aku tak kuat mana, tapi teruskanlah usaha, for yourself first before you label others.

p/s: Tak bermakna kena perfect diri sendiri baru boleh tegur orang, don't get me wrong. Cuma, pastikan berasaskan ilmu dan bukan emo dan ego. Kalau kita salah, terima kesalahan dan betulkan.

Wallahua'lam.

engage

Bismillah ar Rahman ar Raheem

I was quite anxious yesterday, but I thank Allah, really, for the chance He gave me.
It has been a while I haven't lead an usrah, but it was quite a last minute notice, so I didn't get to prepare much.
I went swimming (read: learn to swim) with my friends, which turned out quite OK even though I didn't even get to master the basic yet. Right after we're done, I just realized I received a test saying the akh cannot make it, and that message was sent like an hour earlier. So quickly we went back home, with my mind racing brainstorming what are we going to discuss in the usrah.

The boys just came back from dinner themselves, so when I got there, some of them are watching TV, some just about to get shower, some just going to pray.

It's been a loooong while, really, so I was feeling really awkward and I believe they sensed it too. But come to think of it, I've always been like that. Anxious and nervous when I was about to say something, especially in usrah. Somehow, they (my anak-anak usrah, even previous ones) always have the facial expression which I interpret that they are bored and don't really get what I say. Or did I misinterpret it? Were they just thinking of what I've said? I don't know. But those looks often made me feel more anxious. Made me being all too careful with what I'm about to say, afraid that I'll say something wrong. And that's not a pleasant feeling. Robs my confidence. Guess that's why I always find it hard and often hesitate to conduct an usrah. Gave me the impression that I'm not engaging well with them.

Anyway, after such a loooong time that I haven't conducted any usrah, I find myself losing much of my previous knowledge. Well, there goes the knowledge when you don't share them. And my flow of ideas are more jittery. Hmm.. not that yesterday's was good either. Always been jittery but back then it was quite OK, I guess.

Made me think about, of all the things that I've been wanting to teach my future kids, it's the same thing that I need to convey to them, really. It what everyone need to know, need to improve at. The only difference is, I guess, kids will be much more pure in terms of thinking, like a blank sheet of paper or cloth that you can colour it accordingly, but those boys, they've got they're own set of thinking, so changing that will be difficult. Oh, the approach will be different too. I just wonder, which will be harder, dealing with my own kids or them.

I think I understand why my previous naqib said, he won't let us get married if we never conduct an usrah. It's a good tarbiyah, a good preparation of dealing with human, their emotions and thinking, and trying your best to convey, to teach knowledge and transform them into actions towards a better future. The ultimate future, heaven or hell, most importantly.

Just hope I'll be able to be better at this. InsyaAllah. Ameen~

pull up

Bismillah ar Rahman ar Rahim

The other day, kami dibawa untuk attach dengan Occupational Therapy dept dekat Hospital Permai. Somewhat excited nak pergi, nak tengok apa yang dorang buat, dan indeed, sangat kagum dan terasa terharu dengan apa yang dorang buat.

Orang-orang yang so-called gila dan tak waras oleh masyarakat for sure akan sangat susah nak lawan stigma dengan macam-macam label dan tanggapan orang pada dorang, let alone to gain their trust, tapi alhamdulillah, dengan ada manusia-manusia dekat OT tu, slowly masyarakat boleh menerima orang-orang ni. Tak boleh bayang betapa susahnya kerja orang-orang dekat OT tu, carikan majikan dan syarikat-syarikat yang willing untuk terima pesakit-pesakit ni. Kerja dorang ni lebih kurang buat business lah, so that guy often equate pesakit-pesakit ni as barang, which I find quite disturbing, but understandable la. Cuba bayangkan kita dengan tebal mukanya nak offer "barang" kita yang orang dah perceive as defects dan cuba nak yakinkan dorang yang "barang2" ni masih boleh berfungsi. "Barang2" ni dapat dijual dengan murah sikit banding "barang2 normal" tapi nonetheless, dorang masih boleh "berfungsi" biarpun at a lower level. End up akhirnya banyak majikan yang siap demand lagi "barang2" ni sampaikan demand lebih daripada supply. Just imagine berapa ramai lagi insan-insan yang memerlukan sokongan untuk kembali ke masyarakat akan dapat kerja dan dapat buktikan dorang ni boleh balik jadi orang-orang normal.

Carikan kerja itu satu, untuk pujuk dan bagi motivasi dekat pesakit-pesakit ni, is another story. All their life, semua orang look down dekat dorang sampai dorang rasa worthless dan tak boleh nak buat apa-apa. In a way, we have to admit, memang dorang punya ability tu limited, tapi somehow, dorang masih dapat berbakti pada masyarakat. Terharu baca patient record yang ada report dari OT dept untuk sorang pesakit ni. Dalam tu dorang tulis, pesakit ni hari ni participate activity memasak. Dorang ajar goreng ikan. Pesakit ni sangat menunjukkan minat, tapi sangat tak confident. Masa tengah jaga ikan, dia tak confident bila boleh balik ikan tu, and kept on asking "cikgu2" tu bila boleh balikkan ikan tu. Dalam notes tu, tulis, kena bagi encouragement lagi dan follow up tengok dia boleh ke tak.

Imagine kita layan orang umur 40 tahun asyik tanya dah boleh balik ke belum every few seconds. Ingat iklan burung murai? Itu kanak-kanak tanya, boleh lah sabar jawab banyak kali soalan yang sama. Betapa sabarnya dorang. Dan kalau kat tempat kerja dorang ni relapse, kena serangan balik penyakit tu, orang-orang ni la jugak yang kena pergi dan tenangkan dia, make sure dia boleh kerja balik tak kira pukul berapa kena attack tu.

Dan that day, kitorang dibawak melawat bakery which is part of their project. Bayangkan dorang ni sampai boleh operate satu kilang kecik untuk buat kuih-kuih dan roti. In fact, dorang ni lah yang supply kuih-kuih untuk minum pagi dan petang pesakit-pesakit lain dekat ward yang tak berapa stabil lagi.

Dekat situ, kami diintroduce dengan pekerja-pekerja kat situ. Seorang slow-learner, yang somewhat antisocial. Sangat susah nak cakap dengan orang. Dan dorang berjaya encourage dia untuk bercakap. Kata mereka, kalau dulu setakat dua patah perkataan je boleh dengar, sekarang dah 20 patah perkataan. Sikit? That's a lot of improvement, seriously. Dorang bagi dia kerja packing dan jual kuih-kuih tu. Imagine orang yang tak biasa bercakap dengan orang kena berniaga, which obviously kena interact dengan pelanggan. Ada this one guy with mental retardation. He looks like he's in his 30s, tapi mentally he's 8 years old lebih kurang. Pesakit-pesakit lain macam gurau-gurau sakat dia, dia segan-segan menyorok tak tentu arah. Sangat suka dan terharu tengok environment kerja situ. They don't yell at each other, sebab masing-masing faham condition masing-masing. Ada sorang akak ni, kept on asking us about our degree, nak berborak-borak. Sambil-sambil buat karipap, dia senyum sorang-sorang, then tetiba serious balik. Easily labeled as "tak betul" dengan orang lain tapi dengan kerja itulah, they can find satisfaction and motivation to go on.

Masa tengah lepak-lepak kejap dekat kafeteria sementara tunggu kawan-kawan sudah dorang punya kerja, ada sorang pakcik yang pekerja kat situ jugak datang approach kami. Tengah borak-borak, dia tiba-tiba cakap, "pakcik dulu kes bunuh". I don't know how to react, but alhamdulillah, dah 3 minggu kat situ, tak dalah pulak nak gelabah-gelabah dan terus ada bad impression kat dia. It's not his fault pun bunuh orang tu. Most of the workers kat kafeteria and kedai runcit dalam tu adalah pesakit juga, and most of them adalah forensic cases i.e. kes jenayah. Rotation tu, teaches me to not straight away make a judgement about somebody, sebab each and every one of them ada story di sebaliknya dan kalau kita dengar, kita akan faham dan nak tolong dorang. The problem is, orang takut sejak dari awal dan tak nak dengar apatah lagi nak faham dorang.

Bottom line is, these people yang tolong pesakit-pesakit ni, may Allah bless them and what they do.

A simple way of describing them, they are pulling these patients up when they are at their lowest, and that is what I'm looking for dalam kerjaya. I want to make a change in people's life, tak kisah lah dengan apa cara sekalipun. Biarpun somehow I end up dropped out of medical school (naudzubillah), I'd look for some other jobs yang saya tahu boleh make a change in any way to somebody's life. So far, psychiatrist captured my heart. Am considering it for my future.

But then, yeah, masa 2nd year masa mula-mula dapat lecture pasal mental health ni, that lecturer that I admired said, by the end of MBBS, around 90% of medical student akan consider psychiatry as their future profession, but only around 5% akan truly take that. I don't know if I'll change my mind, but truly, psychiatry captured my heart.

p/s: teringat masa first few days orientation dekat KMB, Ms Loh suruh tulis impian atas kertas. Masa tu terasa sangat embarrassed untuk tulis, tapi terus jugak tulis, "I want to touch as many hearts as possible".. And now, I won't feel embarrassed anymore, cuz there's nothing to embarrassed about it, really. I want to do it, in whatever way possible. Allah, tetapkan hati hamba-Mu ini Ya Allah.

With love,

engraving it deep

It was pretty sad to see them old people.

This week's theme is about psychiatry for the old age, which covers mostly dementia of different types.

Talked to this old guy who's been there for like ages.

He was previously diagnosed with chronic schizophrenia, but now he didn't have all those psychotic symptoms anymore. No more voices, no delusions. The sad thing is, he just couldn't remember anything.

Most of our questions was answered with "I don't know.." "I can't remember".. And there were times when he seemed frustrated when answering, sounded as if he wanted us to stop asking him those questions he just couldn't answer.

He was simply… empty. Nothing. No emotion. Nothing to think about. Just sit around, doing nothing. He was sitting in front of the TV, but he wasn't really watching. Just like… total nothingness. Sad.

We asked him if he thinks that life is not worth living anymore, but no. He just don't know what to feel. Nothing to look forward to. As if he found no purpose to live anymore, but no reason to die yet too. Just, empty.

And most of them in that geriatric ward were chronic cases and they've been suffering it since ages and they had no where else to go. Some don't have any family members around anymore. Most, rejected by their own family. How sad. Sometimes I just can watch how they desperately trying to get the attention of the doctors, but yeah, the doctors are often busy and some of them just kind of ignored the oldies, really.

Made me wish that I don't want to live up to that stage when I'd suffer with dementia, not knowing anything and will be completely dependent of those around me, my kids and family, up to point they'll be frustrated with me and neglect me totally.

But the thing that scares me most is living with nothingness. Emptiness. No purpose. You just don't know what should you do on earth. Been thinking, all their life, did they ever come to know the purpose of life that Allah has given each and everyone of us? Perhaps, as it never ever came across their mind, that it was never ever engraved in their mind as well, so, perhaps that's the reason that it never ever got stuck into their mind that they've lost their purpose of living? Perhaps. Hmmm…

Heard soo many stories of previous great sheikhs who up until their last breath, no matter how handicapped they are, they just go on and do jihad and dakwah, in whatever ways they are still able to. Syeikh Yassiin, for example, and so many others. Wheelchair-bound pun, that didn't stop him. I'd imagine, old people nowadays, once they are on wheelchairs, how many of them would still be going to the mosque for their daily prayers? How many who can still go to Islamic talks etc etc? And that's only for himself. How many would be able to lead an army? How many can still give inspiring and motivating talks to the young syababs who needed their wisdom and life experience? How many can still and still want to contribute to the ummah, when all they can think of is their own death, and forgetting that they still have time to give something?

I guess it all starts when we are still young syababs. Engrave our life purposes through ilm and amal, engrave them so deep that it just couldn't fade away and eroded by the sands of time. Not just ilm, but amal is the more important thing, for ilm only sketches the drawing, but the amal will the thing that'll engrave it to our hearts and mind.

dunno how to rotate the pic.. huhu.. but this is the feedback I got from one of the patients. Seems quite a lot of people kept on commenting about my confidence....

this one is basically to test a patient's cognition. I asked him to put the hands on the clock to show it's 10 past 12. He wrote "10" after the number 12 and then draw the hand. Have a look at what he wrote under the "TUTUP MATA ANDA" tu.

With love,

Gila!

Bismillah ar Rahman ar Rahim

Seminggu yang pertama aku dalam rotation Mental Health dah habis, and 3 more weeks to go.

Right from the start I was pretty excited untuk pergi situ, and indeed, I''m kinda enjoying my time kat situ. But all the same, terasa sangat sedih melihat mereka-mereka ni.

They were previously OK, but then something happened in their life, lalu membuatkan mereka jadi macam tu. Ada yang hisap ganja, ada yang putus tunang, ada yang tak jadi kahwin, dan end up with delusions and hallucinations yang biasalah orang akan label dorang ni as gila.

Dan dalam satu discussion dengan lecturer kami, he pointed out an issue of which he stated that, in a sense, people with religion are somewhat delusional, if we were to apply the definition. Macam mana pun, let's look at the definiition.

Delusion: An abnormal belief which is held with absolute subjective certainty, which requires no external proof, which may be held in the face of contradictory evidence, and which has personal significance and importance to the individual concerned.

When he said that, I was feeling really uncomfortable, sebab tak tahu sama ada statement tu hanya disebut or if he agrees with that statement. And I kind of don't like to argue dan berdebat, and eventually I think he can sense that I'm not comfortable with it, so dia tukar topik.

Anyhow, probably based on his general view, faith, regardless of what religion you believe in, are delusions, sebab when it's a faith, you believe in it with certainty yang kalaupun orang sangkal dengan macam-macam bukti dan hujah, kita tetap akan percaya. Tengok je lah debat-debat Ahmad Deedat dengan paderi-paderi Kristian. Hujah cukup power, tapi dorang still choose to believe. My lecturer said, you can't actually prove that God exists, you can't see him.

There's this one Indonesian guy yang saya jumpa, and he's obviously manic, with grandiose delusions, saying that he is in heaven (said that Malaysia ini sorga, Indonesia belum sorga lagi. Heh. ), and that he is God and also said he saw Muhammad S.A.W. and that the Prophet went into his body so he is Muhammad S.A.W. now.

Kind of made me wonder. Kita sekarang, berhadapan dengan this guy yang mengaku dia nabi. Sejauh mana kita nak percaya dia?

Terfikir, macam mana agaknya perasaan orang Quraisy masa Nabi Muhammad SAW mula-mula cakap dia seorang nabi? Apa yang dia fikir masa Nabi Muhammad SAW cakap dia boleh bergerak ke Baitul Maqdis dalam satu malam? "He must be delusional!" Gila! Mana boleh orang buat macam tu. Tak logik! Dan bila Rasulullah tunjuk "magik", bulan terbelah dua, dan macam-macam lagi mukjizat yang Allah kurniakan pada baginda, "Ishh, dia ni memang ahli sihir!"

Just imagine, Rasulullah di zaman kita, yang mana kita tak tahu pun sebenarnya dia tu Rasulullah, and he came claiming that he is a prophet, adakah kita tak terfikir benda sama?

It got me thinking, what makes those sahabah percaya pada Rasulullah. Abu Bakar, bergelar As Siddiq, kerana kepercayaan pada Rasulullah sampai segala apa pun Rasulullah kata, dia membenarkan without a doubt. How? Kenapa? Kenapa sahabat-sahabat lain pun percaya with this new idea yang sangat-sangat asing pada masa tu?

Perhaps, we should look at macam mana Rasulullah even before dia dapat wahyu pertama. I think akhlaq is the key. Satu syarat wajib seorang rasul is amanah, dan saya percaya, setiap kita tahu bahawa Rasulullah terkenal dengan gelaran al-Amin. Dalam sehari-hari, dalam perniagaan. ALL HIS LIFE! Macam kita, gurau-gurau dari kecik lagi mesti ada unsur acah mengacah. "Ada lipas kat bahu kau!!! Ohh aku acah je. Hahaha".. Rasulullah, dari kecil dah diasuh dalam perniagaan untuk jujur.

Saya cukup tersentuh dengan satu hadith yang saya dengar di IKIM.fm suatu masa dulu. Kisahnya seorang sahabat ni nak keluar berjalan dengan Rasulullah, tapi sebelum keluar tu, anaknya meragam maka dia cakap balik nanti dia akan bawakan coklat/manisan atau yang sama waktu dengannya. Maka si anak pun diam dan si ayah itu keluar bersama Rasulullah. Dalam perjalanan balik, Rasulullah tanya si sahabat tu, adakah benar kau akan belikan apa yang kau cakapkan tu? Si sahabat tu cakap, tidak, itu hanya untuk bagi dia senyap. Rasulullah membalas, katanya, lebih kurang begini: Tunaikan apa yang kau cakapkan, kerana kalau sekali kau menipu anak kau, maka kau akan menipu lagi dan lagi, dan si anak akan menipu anaknya seperti kamu dan seterusnya.

Common practice, bukan? Si ayah menipu si anak, cakap akan buat itu dan ini, hanya semata-mata untuk bagi anak senyap dan kononnya akan behave. Satu benda yang mungkin ramai melihat remeh, tapi jujur dan amanah goes a long way dalam mendidik seorang anak, dan juga as an individual terutamanya!

Benda pertama yang orang akan jatuh hati adalah perlakuan seseorang itu, dan bukan selalunya pada mesejnya. Buktinya zaman sekarang sangat jelas, orang Islam sendiri tak behave, gaya hidup yang membawa fitnah pada Islam, masakan orang tertarik pada Islam sedangkan ramai yang tahu Islam itu benar. In fact kalau dibawa benda salah sekalipun, tepi dengan akhlaq dan perlakuan yang menjinakkan hati, tak mengejutkan kalau ada yang tertarik.

Kenapa Quraisy tak nak terima walaupun mengakui akhlaq Rasulullah itu dah sangat mantap? Well, a whole lot of reasons, dari segi kepentingan sendiri, ego tak nak terima dan lepaskan title dan jawatan, juga betapa mereka memahami kalimah yang dibawa Rasulullah. Jadi, walaupun telah dikemukakan bukti-bukti yang nyata Allah itu wujud, tetapi mereka tetap mengingkari dan tetap percaya pada selain Allah, maka siapakah sebenarnya yang mengalami delusi? Who is it who is truly delusional? Dan apalah bezanya dengan orang-orang yang menolak Islam walaupun telah jelas pada mereka apa yang benar. Tidakkah mereka itu selayaknya dikatakan delusional? Siapakah yang gila?

OK. Kesimpulannya, walau apa pun mesejnya, mahu tak mahu, perkara pertama yang orang tengok adalah akhlaq dan perlakuan orang yang menyampaikan. Dan aspek utama yang sangat-sangat lacking zaman ini adalah kejujuran dan amanah. Tak kira dalam apa-apa aspek pun. Baik dalam mentarbiyah seorang individu kecil, sehingga mentadbir berjuta-juta individu dalam satu negara. Ramai yang nak "menjerat" pun dari awal menggunakan teknik menipu.. Katanya hendak ke situ dan sini, rupanya lain ceritanya. Lalu  bagaimana ya?

Wallahua'lam...

kindness boomerang

Don't you just feel great when you know you've done something good for others? And believe you me, Allah will repay you in ways you never expect, and perhaps never even realize. So go on, give a penny or two, or three, or a dollar, or a helping hand, just anything simple, and say Alhamdulillah. Don't hesitate. You won't lose a thing. Cuz indeed, kindness keeps the world afloat. Never ever say you've got nothing to give, cuz you've got more than you deserve, and that's for you to share.

We live in the time when people are skeptical even to people who are trying to do good to us. Selalu takut kalau-kalau orang sebenarnya nak buat jahat kat kita di sebalik kebaikan tu. When trust disappears from our society, keep the world afloat with your kindness, no matter what people might think or say, or what people might do to us.

keterlaluan

This was written posted years ago, and I can't remember when was it,

but it was something from my heart. Just thought I'd repost it here.

A reminder to myself... From the old me to the me now..

***

Sesetengah orang terlalu ghairah menyuruh itu ini hingga lupa perasaan orang di bawah.

Sesetengah orang terlalu suka mengata yang di atas hingga lupa tanggungjawab sendiri.

Sesetengah orang terlalu rajin berkata-kata hingga terlupa untuk berbuat sesuai dengan katanya.

Sesetengah orang terlalu rajin bertindak hingga sukar untuk berkata-kata, menyampaikan rasa yang terbuku.

Kadang kala kita terlalu marah untuk bertenang dan berfikir,

dan kadang kala kita terlalu bertenang untuk bersegera berfikir.

Kadang kala kita terlalu melihat matlamat hingga tak nampak cara ke matlamat, kerana makin lama melihat, matlamat kelihatan terlalu hebat tanpa mampu dicapai.

Kadang kala kita terlalu melihat cara hingga seronok dengan cara itu dan melupai untuk mencapai matlamat.

Kadang kala kita terlalu melihat ke depan sampai lupa toleh ke belakang, tanpa sedari kita mengikut yang di belakang.

Kadang kala kita terlalu lama melihat ke belakang hingga tak berani melangkah ke depan, sebab tak tahu apa yang di depan, kerana sedang menoleh ke belakang.

Kadang kala kita terlalu mudah menerima lalu payah untuk memberi.

Kadang kala kita terlalu biasa memberi lalu sombong untuk menerima.

Kadang kala kita terlalu risaukan apa pandangan orang dan lupakan pandangan sendiri.

Kadang kala kita terlalu yakin dengan pendapat sendiri dan abaikan pandangan orang lain.

Kadang kala kita terlalu menjaga fizikal, maka terbiarlah "mereput" dalaman,

sedang yang akan dinilai adalah dalaman, sementara fizikal yang akan mereput.

Kadang kala kita terlalu meragui kebolehan orang lain lalu membebani diri sendiri.

Kadang kala kita terlalu percaya pada kebolehan orang hingga tak nampak kebolehan diri dan bergantung kepadanya.

Kebanyakan masa kita terlalu persoal mengapa Allah tak perkenan doa, tak sayang hamba,

sedang Allah terlalu mahu melihat hambanya berusaha merebut cinta-Nya.

Sering kali kita terlalu mengejar dunia hingga lupakan akhirat,

dan terlalu jarang sekali kita masteri dunia demi mencapai akhirat.

dan selalunya kita terlalu banyak mengingkari arahanNya,

dan terlalu sedikit mengejar untuk mengikuti suruhanNya.

sedang Dia terlalu banyak memberi nikmat demi kesenangan kita,

dan terlalu berat untuk menghukum kita,

dan terlalu kasihkan kita hingga dosa sedia diampun,

jika kita sedia mengharap, sedia memohon, sedia kembali.

namun kita terlalu sibuk dengan nikmat hingga lupa kepada pencipta nikmat,

terlalu lupa kepada pencipta diri.

Betul...

Kita memang keterlaluan..

***

fixture

Bismillah

the first moment when I see a patient, I see a disease, an illness, an ailment.

the next moment when I talk to the patient, I see a troubled, impaired body,

the moment when I start to listen, I see an aching soul.

We're human, not robots.

Not to be fixed, but begging to be healed.

di mana gembira ku?

dalam gelak ada kecewa...

Dalam perjalanan balik dari Arau ke Seremban lepas hantar adik saya balik ke UiTM, berhentilah kami di hentian Juru untuk solat dan lunch sekali.

Lepas selesai solat, saya tunggu bersama ibu di luar surau sementara ayah saya siap-siap dan tukar semula pakai seluar. Kebiasaan ayah saya untuk ada sehelai kain pelikat dalam beg yang orang letak kat pinggang tu, entah apa nama tah. Heh.

Sampai masa dia keluar, dia tersengih-sengih sambil melipat kain pelikat dan kitorang blur lah kenapa dok tersengih-sengih. Dia pakai selipar dan pergi ke sisi surau, membiongkok dan di tangan ada beg yang biasa dia bawak tu.

Rupanya sambil dia solat tu there's this one young guy yang tengah duduk-duduk, then bila nampak ayah saya solat, dia berpura-pura solat (hmm.. Tak tahulah pulak kalau dia solat betul-betul).. Tapi solatnya dua rakaat.. Solat sunat ke? Ke qasar Zuhr? Dia cilok beg ayah saya tu masa ayah saya tengah solat. Ayah saya sengih sebab dalam beg tu tak ada pape pun except for his ketayap, so for sure pencopet itu keciwa membuka hasil copetan yang langsung tak lumayan. Wahh hahahah~ mesti letak balik beg tu dengan perasaan malu.. "Ohh, aku pencopet yang loser~ T___T"

Tapi macam sangat mengecewakan, tempat ibadah macam tu pun ada orang buat dosa. Selalu kalau saya travel sorang-sorang, saya memang letak barang saya at one corner dan saya percaya orang yang datang surau ni mesti orang beriman dan baik-baik, takkan buat benda macam ni. Tengok benda macam ni jadi shaken up my belief in that. Dah la sanggup fake a solat.. (oh well, again, tak tahulah kan kalau fake ke real.. Tapi solat sunat sebelum mencuri? Interesting…)

Besan baru mak ayah saya merangkap mak mertua kakak saya pun ada cerita menarik. Tengah dia solat, dia letakkan handbag depan dia la kan.. Then masa tengah sujud, kepala dia kena tekan then dia meronta and menjerit-jeirit la, so rasanya macam kena tolak ke apa tah saya dah lupa, tapi point dia ialah, dia kena samun masa tengah solat, dan penyamunnya itu secara logiknya seorang wanita sebab benda tu berlaku dekat bahagian ruang solat wannita, so kalau laki masuk, mmg suspicious habis la.

Kenapakah oh kenapakahh benda-benda macam ni berlaku? Tambah lagi dekat tempat ibadah. Kalau tempat ibadah macam tu pun berlaku benda macam ni, I wonder dekat mana yang kita boleh rasa aman dari jenayah-jenayah macam ni. Akan sentiasa ada unrest in the society where people feel that they can never really trust anyone with their belongings, jangan kata strangers, kawan sendiri pun kita susah nak percaya nanti.

Perhaps, bila hukum hudud terlaksana baru orang cuak kot. Potong tangan kalau mencuri tanpa alasan yang mendesak. The effect is permanent. Pencuri tu akan hari-hari tengok tangan dia yang dah kudung dan menyesal. Tangan kanan saya pernah patah dan for a month or so saya tak dapat guna tangan tu dengan sempurna. Believe you me, masa tu sangat sangat sangat terasa betapa besarnya nikmat tangan kanan. Sangat banyak benda yang sebelum ni dengan sangat selesa dapat buat, tiba-tiba ditarik. Maafkan kalau explicit, tapi nak zip seluar pun Ya Allah seksa lain macam. That was for one month je. Imagine for a lifetime kena hadapi benda tu. Nak makan. Nak butang baju. Nak lipat baju. Potong sayur ayam segala bagai. Nak bukak balang berisi kerepek kegemaran atau air botol yang tak pernah dibuka lagi. Kepit celah peha dan cuba buka dengan tangan kiri? Done that, and it ain't easy, I tell you. Nak tuang syampu kat tangan kiri. Nak gosok ketiak kiri masa mandi pun seksa. (again, maafkan kalau explicit sangat. Uhuhu)

Dan itu sang pencopet yang nampak. Orang sekeliling pun akan nampak apa jadi kat tangan dia. Fellow pencopet akan ambil iktibar, (harapnyalah) dan insaf tak nak buat benda tu dah. Kalau orang tengok pun, orang akan berhati-hati dan jaga belongings dengan lebih berhati-hati kalau nampak dia. Well, kenalah husnu zhon kan? Entah-entah dia terpotong tangan masa tengah buat kerja kat kilang ke etc etc.

Of course, orang akan argue tentang kesan-kesan lain hukum hudud ni, pasal human rights la, kejam la.. Apa yang saya tahu, hukum ni Allah yang berikan kepada manusia untuk kita for our own good, and it brings more harm than good dan bukan simply terus boleh nak potong tangan, nak rejam orang berzina etc etc. There's a strict rule to follow for each and every crime done. Zina pun perlu 4 orang saksi and it's almost impossible to get 4 people there to witness it happen.. Kalau tak cukup 4, maka si penuduh akan dikenakan hukuman qazaf, sekalipun dia benar. As far as I know lah. So, bukan senang-senang boleh jatuhkan hukuman ya?  Kalau orang ada bukti video rakaman, tu saya tak tahu. Wallahua'lam…

Sangat berharap rasa aman dan rasa mempercayai satu sama lain tu akan dapat dikembalikan dalam masyarakat. Teringatkan kakak saya tertinggal beg masa kat Jepun.. Rasanya lama juga dia tertinggal, and yet, it was left untouch. Jepun. Bukan negara Islam. Tapi as if orang-orangnya berakhlaq lebih dari orang di negara Islam. Oh tapi tapi tapi… Malaysia negara Islam? Tak tahu tak tahu tak tahu. *zip mouth*

I'll keep quite now.

p/s: ohh ohh oh~ tadi 1st time nampak orang bawak motor gaya superman for real depan mata. Heh.

Yang menaip masa masih dalam kereta,