where do you live?

Bismillah ar Rahman ar Raheem

Heard this talk today by Bro Fitri who was a revert himself and few of the things he said got me thinking of how things were and how things are at the moment in my life.

He mentioned an ayat, which I used to recite every morning when I say my gratitude when I woke up. the so-called ayat seribu dinar. People put it up on walls, but they don't really know what it means. You can usually see it in mamak stalls and restaurants, for people believe that you'll get fortune easier if you put it up. I guess it's all because of the part which says that Allah will give you rizq from sources you cannot expect (roughly the meaning). It's a pity when they hung it up, but never got to know what it actually means. I kinda knew the meaning, but I guess it's not deep enough. I used to recite it in my heart, but over time it sort of becomes more of a ritual.

I realized that, I've been fretting about the future too much. Afraid that I'll flunk my 1st SSC. Afraid that I won't make a good doctor, feeling I'm not fit for it. Afraid I won't graduate. I fret over the rizq that I don't even know if it's meant to be mine or not. And at the same time, I didn't do the 1st part of the ayat, the thing that you got to do to attain those rizq that you wanted and a whole lot more He has to offer. That is to have taqwa. Only those who have taqwa, who have firm believe in Him, on His Might to give Rizq, on His Knowledge on the Qada' and Qadr, will get what He has mentioned in the ayat.

I fret over the future too much, that I don't live in the present. I feel hopeless that I don't do what I can do today. I rely on MY strength to get me to where I wanted to be, thus in other words, I pushed away the fact that He is the One who is the Granter of every wishes. I used to be more at peace years ago, when my imaan was way better than how it is now. I don't know if I've reached a level of taqwa, I really don't have the right to say that, but I can feel then was better than now. As Allah mentions in the Quran, verily, with the remembrance of Allah will come peace.

"Those who believe, and whose hearts find satisfaction in the remembrance of Allah: for without doubt in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction.
Ar Ra'du 13:28

Another ayat that he brought forward is from surah Muhammad verse 7.

All these verses kind of marry together. When you believe in Him, and not your own might and feeble strength, and you put your heart at rest on Him, you'll gain peace. When you are at peace, then you can achieve more and do lots more than when you are stressed out and one of the crucial things to do to prove your existence is to help Allah and in return, He'll help you, and He'll give you those rizq that you long for, and tonnes others you didn't even ask for consciously and thus you might not appreciate truly, in ways you can never expect!

So my take home message is, believe in Him, rest your heart on Him, and do more. Do more for His sake and for the deen's sake and all your worldly matters will be taken care of insyaaAllah.

This is me reminding me, because I have once forgotten, and now I am reminded, and thus I'm reminding, again...

Wallahua'lam