OnComm

Bismillah ar Rahman ar Raheem

It's 1 am and I couldn't sleep. Probably because I dozed off in the bus on my way back to Johor earlier today. And so I thought I should write.

It has been 5 months since we're married and I just thought I'd share a lil something I learnt quite recently.
In marriage, communication is super super important and you need that to understand each other.
One of the things that I believe is important to understand along the way is, what sort of things that you do mind but your spouse didn't, and vice versa, and to actually communicate it and try to understand each other.

Like in our case, we're both still studying and dependent on our scholarships to survive and money is real tight, and seriously, being a guy and not being able to give much bugs me. When we went out the other day, I felt bad not being able to bring her to a good place to eat and went for a value meal in a simple restaurant instead. And tell you what, she was OK with that. Like an akh of mine whose marriage just turned 1 year old   not long ago, "It's just psychological". He had his share of similar experience.

It's a great feeling, really, when you know your spouse understands you and accept you as you are, despite her background or habits which are quite the opposite.

You need to communicate that feeling of discontent and not keeping it in. Once you let it out, you let your other half know about it, and insyaaAllah, she'll try to understand it, and you'll gain your reassurance. Perhaps it doesn't apply to all cases and everybody, but keeping it in won't solve much either, I guess.

You need to identify what is it that you mind and see if she minds, and you work it out from there.
If she doesn't mind, you need to learn to comfort yourself not to let it mind you so much that it ruin things. If she does mind, then, try and do something about it if you can.

Key point: communicate. Let the other person know how you're feeling. And work it out from there.


So there, from a feeble 5-months experience of marriage.
It's still a real long journey for us and we're learning many new things as we go along.

insyaaAllah, till Jannah =)