the dark side

Bismillah ar Rahman ar Raheem

If you are adivising someone, and you insist on seeing your advice taken, you are doing wrong since you could be mistaken and you would be insisting on him accepting you error and rejecting the truth.

-Ibn Hazm

Just posted this on FB, and it really is a reminder to me. 
Referring to previous post, I'm really really scared of myself lately, with the recent changes I'm seeing in me. 
I believe it is good to be firm with what I think, but I'm afraid that I'll always believe that what I'm thinking is right, and worse, imposing that belief to others without really knowing if that is right or wrong. 
It's a balance that I need to keep, not to fall over to the dark side. 
Something that's bugging me, but alhamdulillah, Allah made me aware of such disease of the heart, 
so I hope I'll grow mature out of this trial of mine. 

Correct me if I'm wrong, please. I need to have someone to pull me back down to earth when I'm really full of myself, probably with air, like a tin can, that I'll float aimlessly. Someone, anyone... 

Ugly

Bismillah ar Rahman ar Raheem

Today I can't help but feel that the world is really ugly. I can't see why people find it so fulfilling and beautiful. It's just a mask concealing such a hideous face of humanity.
We've been discussing about HIV and prostitutions and hard-to-reach group for medical interventions and what triggered my thoughts was when my lecturer said that prostitutions exists since day one the world existed and we can't do anything to stop it, we can't ban it, so what we should do is to control it.

I can't imagine how those prostitutes feel after they had their job done. Do they really enjoy it?
Well, some are forced to do it, through poverty and exploitation, and that's a problem we need to actively try to solve. But those who are doing it out of pleasure, I wonder if pleasure is what they actually get. Physically, yes, we do need it but the deeper meaning of pleasure is not physical. Deep inside, pretty sure they'll feel empty and alone and there is no sense of satisfaction at all. All for the short term pleasure of others, perhaps, which poses a lot bigger problem.

I simply can't see why she said that. Yes, a she. How can a woman agree that prostitution is acceptable and not worth fighting against? I see no position for prostitution in any country around the world. It resulted from a problem, which escalates pretty quickly to a bigger problem. Our society, global society, really, is very very sick.

Prostitution, doesn't just affect teenagers and young girls. Getting married early is not exactly the solution anyway to combat such things. And it can also pose a great threat to marriages. A spouse might not be satisfied with his/her partner hence, they'll look for it elsewhere since it is available, legal or not legal, be it through prostitution, or from whoever they got to know with. The bigger problem, fall of the marriage institution. The instability of such thing robs the stability of the society, and in the end, it made the problem even worse.

The solution that kept on being proposed in the seminar, sex education. Really, I'm not against this. I'm actually for it. But I don't agree with the statement that my friend voiced out, and agreed by the lecturer. School is the best place for such education. No it's not. It's back to the family institution! Who else could be a better guider, a better teacher than the mother to her daughter, and the father to the son? Why couldn't the children consult their parents about sexual issues, social issues or if there's any problem "down there"? Why can't they?

Well, I believe children don't feel welcomed to do so. Parents can appear unwilling, or rather, they don't even have time for their children. Perhaps not even proper family bond is present. Or perhaps, even worse, the parents are the one who's abusing the children, be it sexually or any other way, which escalates the problem even further. Some parents simply are not comfortable, or don't know how, which is really understandable, and really, what it takes is the right mindset for the parents, and proper education.

It's really sick and ugly, isn't it? People are just too greedy for fame and fortune that they neglect their children. People are too greedy for pleasure that they can't let go of it totally, e.g. prostitutions, smoking etc etc. even when they can see it's a problem. Probably most are unable to comprehend why such issues are big problems, or perhaps they can't see how it affected their own lives. Or perhaps, it's the diffusion of responsibiliy theory. You saw the problem, everyone saw it, but nobody gives a damn to do something cuz well, somebody else should/could/would have done it, aye?

I do agree that sex education is important, but the overall education, the holistic tarbiyyah is much much more important. Morale, akhlaq, worldview.. these are really important aspects that we need to think about in nurturing the future kids. We are not just responsible for our lives, and also not just for our immediate children's lives, but we must believe that we do hold such great potentials in changing how the world is in perhaps 20 to 40 years ahead, probably even 100 years ahead of us. It's what we do today that matters. We are not insignificant to others. Believe in that.

We are not ugly.




Warm regards,

speech

Bismillah ar Rahman ar Raheem

Ramadhan baru-baru ni, alhamdulillah ada improvement dalam tilawah.
Ramadhan sebelumnya sekadar dapat habiskan satu Quran, tapi kali ni alhamdulillah berjaya habiskan beserta dengan baca terjemahan. Based on that, macam dapat overall picture of apa isi Quran sebenarnya.

And one peculiar thing that I noticed adalah, sangat sangat sangat banyak kali diulang kisah Nabi Musa dan Firaun in various parts of the Quran. Ada yang lain sikit gaya cerita, but each bearing reminder yang berbeza or reinforcing the story itself.

Satu benda buat ku tertanya-tanya setelah cerita tu diulang-ulang.
Nabi Musa minta Allah untuk utus bersama baginda Nabi Harun, sebab baginda mengaku lidahnya tak fasih berhujah. The question is, throughout the Quran, sangat jarang dengan dialog Nabi Harun. Kebanyakannya adalah Nabi Musa yang berhujah dengan Firaun.

"Dan saudaraku Harun, dia lebih fasih lidahnya daripadaku, maka utuslah dia bersama-samaku sebagai penyokong yang mengakui kebenaranku; sesungguhnya aku bimbang bahawa mereka akan mendustakan daku."

Al Qasas 28:34

The significance of the ayat to me is that, aku selalu rasa aku tak fasih bercakap. Selalu rasa frust bila tak dapat nak convey apa sebenarnya yang aku nak cakap. People often got confused, or got bored sebab tak faham-faham aku nak cakap apa sebenarnya. Asyik pusing-pusing point yang sama. Selalu frust and disheartened untuk bawak usrah especially. Selalu rasa nak menyorok dan biar orang lain bercakap. Biar orang lain yang lead dan aku mencelah bila rasa mampu.

Tadabbur ku dari ayat tu, ialah, sekalipun tak reti, Allah akan tolong insyaaAllah. Boleh jadi Allah bagi teman yang akan tolong, tapi macam mana pun, aku sendiri yang kena cakap dan convey the message. Kena cuba. Kena latih untuk bercakap. Dan alhamdulillah, aku sedang berubah sedikit demi sedikit. Cantik sangat do'a Nabi Musa untuk mintak Allah lancarkan lisan dia.

Maka, tak ada alasan untuk tidak bercakap. Harus minta pada Allah segala penyelesaian, tapi sendiri jangan lupa untuk act it out. Penyelesaian tak datang bergolek. Harus berusaha!



being me,

ego?

Bismillah ar Rahman ar Raheem

Lately ni aku rasa macam mudah annoyed dengan orang.
Buat aku terasa aku ego, bila rasa annoyed benda tak berlaku seperti yang aku faham.
As if aku je yang betul.
Especially dalam kelas.
Annoyed dengan orang-orang yang aku pasti dorang tahu jawapan tapi bila lecturer tanya semua membatu.
Aku dulu macam tu, tapi sejak 3rd year, aku dah berubah dan main jawab tak kira betul atau tak, as long as aku ada basis or reasoning for that answer la. Aku main jawab so that kalau salah, aku tahu mana patut aku betulkan. And aku tak jawab, kalau aku betul-betul blur, which is the case bila 4th year ni. huhu.

Satu perubahan yang ku tak sure satu benda yang bagus atau tak.
Sebelum ni I was really timid. Senyap dan tak bersuara sangat.
Now, in a way, satu benda bagus sebab aku terasa makin firm dengan apa yang aku fikir, rather than macam lalang and indecisive macam dulu. Sekarang pun dalam proses nak kurangkan penggunaan "kot", "macam", "like", "kinda" dan frasa-frasa yang seumpamanya, sebab membuatkan ayat-ayatku berbunyi tak yakin dan tak firm. Thanks to my beloved wife yang kerap tegur whenever I do that. Alhamdulillah. A positive change, I believe, sebab macam mana nak lead family kalau sendiri tak firm dalam keputusan. But yeah, masih belum cukup matang dalam benda ni. Aku terlebih technical, most of the time, without really thinking pasal benda lain. I'll get there insyaaAllah, ayte?

Dan sekarang rasa makin berani voice out apa yang aku fikir, so that orang tahu apa aku fikir, dan mengharapkan orang pun akan convey apa mereka rasa, supaya sama-sama boleh belajar. Mungkin ini hikmah Allah hidangkan aku dengan ujian berat some time ago. Mengajar untuk aku open up dan voice out apa aku rasa, dengan yakin dan hujah yang cukup kuat.

Drawback yang ku rasa sekarang, since now kalau voice out something, ku ada reasoning sendiri kenapa ku fikir macam tu, sampaikan terasa macam apa yang ku fikirkan tu adalah betul, sampai terasa macam mempertikaikan pandangan orang lain. Mungkin juga sebab pandangan aku kadang-kadang diterima.
Atau mungkin orang lain jadi timid, so tak voice out apa mereka rasa maka terima je. Atau mungkin gaya aku cakap as if dari awal tak nak terima so orang menyampah nak counter dan terima je?
Paling aku tak nak adalah the latter. Paling tak nak cara aku cakap jadi punca orang tak nak voice out, sebab the reason aku voice out pun adalah untuk dengar pandangan orang lain. Sangat-sangat harap that's not the case.

Perhaps it's my ego? Am I developing my ego..?


being me,

First World Problem

Dinner malam tadi with a friend, and well, I just can't help feeling annoyed when he didn't finish his veggies.
His reasoning, makcik tu kasi aku lauk yang tak fresh. Kasi yang dah siap masak awal-awal, tak panas, tak fresh. Ayam habis je? And end up him being annoyed with me nagging.

Kawan-kawan yang biasa makan dengan aku, harap maaf but yeah, I nag when it comes to this. Totally a 1st world problem. Somewhere around the globe, people would kill for food mates, and we're wasting them just because we don't feel like eating, it's not made to our liking, it's not fresh etc etc. Bukan salah sayur tu dia dimasak tak sedap/tak fresh etc dan kita terus nak campak masuk dalam tong sampah. Such a waste of rezeki. Ada hadith saying, habiskan every single bits in our plate cuz we don't know what bit will have barakah in it.

Few weeks back, I was being introduced to a bunch of memes which I was not really familiar with. Jarang go on 9GAG so tak tau sangat unless mana-mana yang appear kat wall orang post.
This particular one, I find quite interesting. The skeptical 3rd world child/kid.
Some are quite hilarious, but after some time reading the various posts people put up, it became apparent to me that it's really a funny, yet a sad joke. A sad joke on us, so called self-acclaimed 1st world people. Ada beberapa yang point out betapa pelik and bodoh actions yang 1st world people buat, and I kinda agree with it.

Sad, isn't it?

Flu

Bismillah ar Rahman ar Rahim

These recent days I've been tested with one of the ni'mah that is often being neglected, that is the ni'mah of health.

Think it's probably when I was riding my bike with my wife and it suddenly rained, when I catch the flu. It has been a real long time that I haven't suffered any illness (unless you count in my MVAs), so catching a flu is quite significant to me.

Had headaches, runny nose, and sore throat. A simple URTI, really but I was really getting bugged by it so I decided to go on and self medicated with some suggestions from my lecturer. Lo and behold, even before I started taking the medication, I felt better the next day!

The lesson that I've got from that is pretty simple, but left quite a profound effect on me. Medications is always an asbab, and never a cure to any disease. Allah is always and eternally the Healer of all diseases. Such thing is often simple to say, but pretty hard to feel or appreciate.

Alhamdulillah for the good health Allah has given us, allowing us to do lots of things that we often neglect when we are healthy and able. Take home message, don't delay, cuz you might not have the energy or free time to do the important things you needed to do.

On Olympics, Illuminati and Ramadhan

Bismillah ar Rahman ar Raheem

What we're taught when appraising a medical paper, (and I believe this applies to any paper as well in its own context), one very crucial question to ask which makes all the differences is "So what?" or in a more formal note, "Is it clinically important?"

Reading a Facebook status of a friend regarding the Olympics and the Illuminati conspiracy, brings a different perspective in viewing things.

***

"Inspired by an anyonymous relative:
Banyaknya post berkenaan konspirasi Olympic. Hebat betul imaginasi umat Islam sekarang. Pasal pokoklah, baby dan byk benda yang mengarut serta tidak bersandarkan fakta. Benda baik pasal Olympic yg merupakan fakta tak nak sebut seperta IERA organisation yg menggunakan peluang utk berdakwah tentang Islam kpd Non-Muslim, bagaimana pihak penganjuran menyediakan sahur dan iftar utk umat Islam yang berpuasa, dan paling gah sekali, mereka sebut tentang bulan Ramadhan. Korg tak rasa izzah ke apabila org bukan Islam sebut pasal Ramadhan dan atlet kita bermain waktu puasa demi menunjukkan terernya umat Islam dalam bidang sukan (yg shariah compliant)? 
Cuba fikir betapa gahnya, org bukan Islam sorak dan bincang sesama diorg benda mcm, "Hey John, look at them Muslims. Mighty strong people going to fight our boys with empty stomach" "Yeah, Rob. That sounds like they got guts"
Hai, kawan2. Daripada korg share gambar illuminati, lebih korg share gambar yg menguntungkan Islam seperti gambar umat Islam bagi leaflet psl Islam luar stadium, psl atlet Islam berhijab, psl atlet Islam berdoa atau pasal atlet Islam buka puasa. Mana tahu org bukan Islam atau org yg kurang Islam akan dpt hidayah apabila melihat gambar positif yg korg share. 
Klu korg share post illuminati/freemason/Yahudi ni, lglah merugikan Islam sebab korg tunjukkan betapa ceteknya pemikiran org Islam. Entah2, itu mungkin agenda illuminati sebenar - to make you guys to share riddiculus post to make Islam looks as stupid as possible. Inception?!
Astaghfirullahal azim. Wallahu a'lam."

***

We are so easily bugged by such conspiracies and we are so ready to hit the Share button and add more fuel to the flame. But how about we take a second and think, and ask ourselves, "So what?"

Why should we bother about the Illuminati and stuff? 

To raise the awareness, people might say... 

And so what?

Well, to prepare ourselves and so we can defend our precious ones from being influenced by those sly bad bad BAD guys. 

And so, what do you do to "defend" ourselves?

Err...

Ok. So what? 

You know those 5Fs or 5Ss or whatever people say are the strategies made by them evil people to mislead us? I believe many have come across it and I believe many are keen to share it and probably have shared it whenever they come across those acronyms. I don't remember all the individual Fs or Ss, but I remember them being Fashion, Fun, Football, and et cetera. Oh well, probably we can add Facebook in it too. It's a double-edged dagger, really. You can kill, or be killed. You can use it, or be used. You choose. 

But anyway, I think a lot of us know about it but what do we do? I don't have any issues with football, honestly. Oh well, I know I don't play much football. I don't have passion about it. I don't support any team. I don't watch them. You mention a name, chances are I don't even know who that is, let alone to know which team he's playing. I often got asked playfully, "IC tulis jantina apa?" translated as "Are you a man or what?"

Man are defined with football. You don't watch football, you're not a man. Again, I have no issues with football. It's a great sport, it brings people together, man and woman alike, but I wonder why do people went head over heels for it more than they fell in love with the Prophet's Sunnah. 

It makes me wonder how come some people are able to wake up at 3 am to watch football, but hardly for qiam. Some offer salah since they've woken up that early before the match, but just a thing to reflect, what is it that woke them up? The match or the sheer desire to make qiam? I'm saying this not because I make qiam every night (I find it extremely hard myself, honestly) but just a note to reflect ourselves on, how much do we prepare for those insults and fitnahs that we already knew are their strategies to divert us from the straight path? We've known their strategies, but what do we do, individually and collectively, to counter those attacks? 

It's like, you are spying on the enemy and seeing what they are doing but you go back, doing nothing. 

"Oh look! They're loading their machine guns!"

"They've got new high-tech tanks" 

"Oooohhh.. new unmanned drones!"

"Gosh, deadlier chemical bombs~!"

But hey, where's YOUR ammunition? 

Oh we can easily chuck out some nice weaponry and build new tanks and bombs and stuffs and blast them off in a few shots and they'll be gone from this world. Easy peasy. 

Or is it? 

Those are not our ammunition. Our real stuff is our iman. Fortify your iman, and come what may, you'll be ready, head on and no regrets nor hesitation, and you'll be "bullet-proof" from their assaults. Be it real solid red hot bullet or those sly silent attacks on our iman.

Well hey it's Ramadhan, and it's our chance to boost up our iman! It's a month of barakah, and little deeds can make a lot of difference, man. Take heed of the Prophet's sunnah, no matter how small, or presumably small, and get the best of it. Eat simple. Waste not. Read the Quran. Try to wake up for qiam. Give sadaqah, even just a smile when you're out buying food at the bazaar. Don't feed your nafs too much, shaytan is not here to tempt you. Tame it while you can, as you've got full power over it in this holy month. If it's more powerful than you in this month, then just wonder what it can do to you with the help of shaytan when you're out of Ramadhan. 

Ihya' Ramadhan, mates! 

This is me, reminding me in case I forgot.